


"Dean?" "Dean's Gone."

by caastiiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - If You Squint, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, One-Shot, Suicidal Dean, Suicide Attempt, Trigger Warnings, very angry castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-13 01:47:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2132511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caastiiel/pseuds/caastiiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's probably far past done, but he's never actually considered  doing anything about it. That is, until now. But when things don't turn out as planned, he's left to deal with a furious Castiel and a broken younger brother. Or maybe they're just left to deal with him. </p><p> </p><p>----<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	"Dean?" "Dean's Gone."

**Author's Note:**

> Again, read at own discretion.  
> Suicidal themes/attempt and there's some violence so uh be careful  
> (sorry I'm still very new to posting work on this site)

**"** Dean?"

"Dean's gone."

It had taken a few seconds for the meaning behind those words to settle. 

"What do you mean he's  _gone_?" Castiel inquired as he squinted his eyes and slightly turned his head to the left.

"Usually, he tells me when he leaves. Cas, I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't urgent. I haven't heard from Dean in three days!" Sam exclaimed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"What would you like me to -"

"Find him. And knock some sense into him because I don't know where the hell he is or what the hell he's doing. He was pretty pissed off when he left so I doubt he wants to see me." As Sam took a seat on the bed, Cas had already vanished.

A bridge. It was fairly large one, that looked over a very high paced river. If someone were to jump off.. _no human would be able to survive the impact_. Not with the sharp rocks at the bottom, the height of the bridge, and the depth of the the water.Sitting on the edge with his legs swung over was where Castiel had found Dean. The state of Dean was quite shocking. Of course, the things he's been through, Castiel had definitely seen him worse situations. But this still scared angel.

"Dean." Castiel said finally. Dean's head whipped around to meet Castiel's eyes. His hand had knocked over a very large bottle of some kind. It was probably alcohol. And also empty. Now that the hunter had half of himself facing Castiel, he could get a better look at the Winchester. His forehead had multiple brusises and it was bleeding, along with the knuckles on his hands. They had swollen up pretty big. The only way to be able to get those kind of injuries would be if he had repetitively banging his head and fists on something.And not like it bothered Castiel much, but Dean was filthy. He probably hadn't showered in the days he was gone, and probably hadn't eaten much judging by how he looked. Mud and blood caked his shirt. And Dean's face had this sense of panic all over it, along with confusion. And when Castiel had raised his eyes to meet Dean's, he could see them looking right back. Except they were a dull shade of green. Like someone had snatched the light behind his eyes and left him in this miserable state. Who would do that to his hunter?

"Cas." Dean coughed as he noticed Castiel's blue eyes staring into his own.

"Dean. Dean, what happened?" At those words, Dean turned to look down at the rushing waves beneath his feet. He leaned a bit too forward for Castiel's concern.

"Dean?" Castiel asked as he took a few steps closer to the mess of a Winchester. Dean raised his hand to a foot away from him, refusing to turn his head in the direction of the angel. Castiel broke the silence.

"Sam's worried for you, Dean."

"I don't care." Dean scowled as a  response.

"Sam does." Castiel stated as he turned to look at the trees around him. "And I do to." 

"Right." Dean said as he coughed again.

"Are you…cold?" Castiel asked as he tilted his head.

"Yeah." Dean laughed.

"What do you find humourous, Dean?" Castiel asked in that deep, confused voice out of his.

"It's just out of all this," Dean paused to sneak in a laugh and use one of his swollen fingers to guesture at himself. "You ask if I'm cold? Do you even consider that I may be here tonight because I -"

"I know your intentions of not making it back to Sam alive." Castiel nodded as he looked at the floor. Whatever Dean had found funny a second ago had left him and he clearly wasn't humoured.

"Oh?" Dean asked as he lightly scratched the back of his neck and gulped when Castiel had mentioned Sam. Dean couldn't help but feel guilty, but he wanted out. "How did you know?"

"We share a more profound bond, Dean. If you had a particular suicidal tendancy to leave us, I would know."

"Well, if you put it that way…."

"How could you think of leaving Sam?" That statement fired another pang of guilt into Dean's already miserable stomach.

"How could you even think of leaving me?" Castiel's voice was rough.

"I had to." Dean whispered.

By the time Cas had caught on, it was too late.

Dean had disappeared over the edge.

*****

Sam wouldn't look at Dean. Well..not exactly. After a few paces around the room he would sneak a glance at his brother who was currently handcuffed by his sides, but never in the eye. Dean would have loved it if Sam spoke to him. Dean wouldn't even care if Sam was yelling at him, telling him how insane he was. Anything would be better than the deadly silence that filled the room. Castiel had left the Winchesters to do  something after barely saving Dean. The angel would be back sometime soon, but Dean had to be handcuffed so they could make sure he wouldn't do anything stupid (again). Sam had been pacing the room for about ten minutes, back and forth, occasionally running his hands through his hair and mumbling things to himself. He didn't know how to talk to Dean, or even take in the situation.

Jumping of that bridge was  _so unlike Dean_. But it  _was_  him who did that.  _Yeah, sure….they had it hard. But they were in this together. And this wasn't something they did to each other_. After a few minutes, Sam had gotten tired of pacing back and forth and stopped to rest against the TV stand, his hands curled up into fists at his sides. And he stared at Dean's wrists that were lightly bruised from the handcuffs. After a few minutes of Sam just looking at Dean's wrists and thinking over and over again about how or what to say, Dean broke the silence.

"Hey, are you going to buy me a drink or just stand there staring at me?" The older Winchester smirked, trying to lighten the mood. Sam's hands clenched into even tighter (if that were possible) fists.

"What is this, a silent treatment?" Dean asked roughly as he rolled his eyes and lightly tugged on his handcuffs after his brother didn't respond. Sam's fingernails had begun to dig in to his skin even deeper and slightly cut into his skin.

"Come on Sammy, y-you've gotta talk to me." Dean practically begged at his younger brother across the room. His pleads were desperate and his voice cracked in between. Dean longed to hear his brother's voice, even if it was filled with disapproval. "This isn't fair, man."

Sam shot Dean a "oh-I'll-tell-you-what-isn't-fair" almost sad smirk as his eyes fixed on his older brother's dirty shirt. The Winchester who had attempted to jump off a bridge and end his life only half an hour ago closed his eyes tightly.

"I'll tell you what isn't fair, Dean." Sam stated, literally vocalizing the look Dean had seen on his face earlier. Dean didn't want to open his eyes or even protest. At least his brother was talking to him.

"What  _isn't fair_  is  _this_. You storming out of the room after a small disagreement, not even saying anything to me for three days.  _Three. Fucking. Days._  And then Cas shows up here with you in his arms telling me you had jumped off a bridge. If it weren't for Cas….  _two feet,_  Dean.  _Two feet_  and I wouldn't have had a brother anymore.  _Two feet_ , and I-I probably wouldn't have b-been able t-to," Sam broke out into sobs.

Sam Winchester never cried this hard. Not since Jess had passed away, and they've been to hell and back since then.  _Dean had found away to break Sam._

"Come on, Sammy. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I just -," Dean couldn't find the right words to speak. Dean couldn't find the perfect excuse. Sam took a deep breath.

"C-cas t-told me everything while you were passed out. About how y-you didn't care and you were just about to g-give up everything." The faint flutter of wings filled the room.

"Hello, Dean." The familiar angelic (haha) voice filled the room. "Sam." Dean's eyes flew open and saw his brother leaning against the TV stand on the floor with his face buried in his hands. "Dean. You're awake."

"Yeah." Dean shrugged.

"Give me some time, I'll be back in an hour." Sam muttered as he got up and walked out of the motel. As much as he had tried to hide his face, Dean could see the condition he was in. The door slammed behind him.

"Oh, don't mind him. Sam will be back to norm-" Dean froze as Castiel appeared in front of him.

"I'm not worried about your brother," Castiel said through clenched teeth. Dean faced the floor. They were going to have the talk.

"That's rude, you really should be worried about Sammy. I mean I'm chained to this fucking bed but Sam's out-"

"What were you thinking, Dean?"  Castiel interrupted him for the second time that day.

"Huh? Oh, that." Dean shrugged. "And Cas, personal space. We've talked about this."

"Don't mess with  _me_ , Dean." The Angel practically growled as he raised his hand to unfasten one of Dean's handcuffs. Dean had only ever seen this side of Castiel once. It was the protective and angry side of him, and it scared Dean.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Dean asked as he rotated his free wrist from the handcuffs and stared at the light bruises that had begun to form. Castiel didn't say anything as he popped the other wrist free.

"I'm teaching you a lesson." And then Dean had been lifted from the bed as his eyes widened with a slight realization.

"Cas…" The first punch was thrown at his left jaw and Dean didn't even try to fight it. He wouldn't stand a chance. Anyways, he deserved it.  _He deserved to be dead._

"You don't deserve to be dead, Dean." Castiel's fist contacted with Dean's stomach and earned a groan from him. Dean fell forwards and Castiel straightend him uo. " _But you deserve this._ " Another flying fist contacted Dean's side and the hunter groaned again. "We care for you, Dean!"

"What were you thinking, Dean? That I would just be able to 'move on'?" Dean yelped as the air from his lungs were wiped. "That you could leave your younger brother?" Another punch was thrown at his jaw.

"You saw Sam," Castiel grabbed Dean's hair to keep him up and raise his bleeding face to his own. "That was what  _you_  did to him." His priceless face took another blow.

" _You really think…you don't care? We have done…so much for you, Dean..and this is what you do? If you…would have died….you would have taken Sam and me with you._ "   
Castiel yelled through punches. And suddenly, Dean's back was against the wall with Castiel pressed against him.

"Don't you ever think of leaving us again. Or else  _I swear_ , it will be a lot worse." 


End file.
